Life is stranger (and funnier than fiction). That is so true.
Take the case of green puppy for example.
I should explain who green puppy is. Green puppy known by that very descriptive and creative name is Zach’s very favorite stuffed friend. He received him as a gift when he was born along with many other stuffed friends, but for whatever reason green puppy stood out as the fave from day 1. I have pictures of Zach sleeping with him as just a little guy. Green puppy fits in his arm just so that Zach is able to carry him around like an extra appendage and still do other things with both hands. Needless to say green puppy has an elevated place in the Ramsey family pecking order of stuffed friends. This is important background information for the reader to know before I tell you that he had a very close encounter with the large canine in our house a few weeks ago. As I have shared Henry has a taste for stuffed animals for reasons that we still have not yet uncovered. (We are saving up for doggie therapy). Well, green puppy barely escaped with his life with one eye and some innards removed. All I remember hearing that day was, “Nooooooooo, not GREEN PUPPY!!!!!!!!” and then finding this…
Zach did not want me to write about this incident at the time it happened. As I was taking this picture to blog about the incident, Zach kept saying, “It is not funny!” I agreed that it was not funny. To that he responded, “but you are going to make it funny!” We quarantined his remains and I promised Zach that a) I would not blog about it (at least not then) and b) we would fix him (read: hopefully grandma could fix him since mommy doesn’t sew). So finally I remembered to ask grandma to help perform surgery on green puppy a few days ago. He was safely delivered to grandma in a Heinen’s bag. Just as we had hoped and prayed grandma was able to successfully perform surgery on him, provide him with a new prosthetic eye, additional stuffing and a bath to boot. Green puppy was healed! Hallelujah! Here he is in all his fixed glory!
All is well.
Well, almost.
As grandma was telling me yesterday that she delivered a fixed green puppy back to our house, a seed of worry began to grow in my tummy.
“Where did you put him”, I asked?
“Just on the counter in the kitchen”, she said naively.
Gulp. Oh, no, not the kitchen counter, I thought! The kitchen counter: the serving table for Henry’s every whim or insatiable appetite. Thankfully I arrived home to find green puppy safely in his Heinen’s bag on the kitchen counter. Whew! I went upstairs for about 5 minutes to grab some laundry and came down to find the Heinen’s bag missing from the counter!!! Zach and Mike had just arrived home so we all began frantically looking for green puppy. The Heinen’s bag was chewed almost beyond recognition all along the basement stairs. We were filled with dread as we went downstairs just knowing we might not be ready for what we might find. But we couldn’t find him anywhere. No green puppy! We broadened our search to include the entire house, but I started to accept the unthinkable. Henry has just eaten green puppy, like completely! New prosthetic eye and all!! Just as we were at our wits end and beginning the grief process, and Zach was ready to beat the dog, Mike proclaimed his find. Green puppy was behind the couch in the basement, unscathed and in one piece!!!!!!!! Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!!!!! The only conclusion we could draw from this narrow escape is that in his violent shaking of his prey, Henry must have flung his victim behind the couch and then could not retrieve him to finish the job. Praise God!
Green Puppy is currently residing in a safe house while his hermetically sealed protective case is being designed and prepared. Contributions to Henry’s therapy fund can be made at the following website: www.mydogiscrazy.org.
