I should have listened. If I had only listened then this whole “Melt” saga would not have happened.
So, here’s what happened. I had to take a candidate from out of state out to dinner last night as part of his interview process. So, I decided to pick a local “non-chain” joint to showcase the area’s cool local spots and food. So, I chose Melt. It is a very cool and cute place (I’ve heard), with very good food (I’ve heard), and a great following and reputation. Before last night I had never been there before so this was to be my maiden Melt voyage too. One of my colleagues who is a Melt frequent flyer warned me against going there with a candidate. “The sandwiches are huge and really messy to eat”, she said. “Eh, it will be fine”, I thought. He’s a dude – he’ll be fine with it!
So we get there early and get seated right away which was a good sign because normally there is a very long wait. We all order various melt concoctions. At this point I have seen a number of “large and in charge” sandwiches go by me and I’m totally rethinking my restaurant decision. I’m just hoping the knife and fork plan will work like I want it too. We get our sandwiches and thankfully, I’m able to knife and fork my way through 1/2 of my sandwich. I ordered the peanut butter, jelly, banana and cream cheese sandwich. The menu said that they had fresh peanut butter so that got me. Turns out I could hardly taste any peanut butter and didn’t realize until I got my to-go container that the little dish of mystery “sauce” was the jelly. Oops. Fortunately, my dinner companions successfully navigated their way through their 1/2 sandwiches with utensils, as well. However, it was definitely a little awkward to have to deal with trying to have dinner without making a mess and it took the focus off of the conversation a bit. Not the best choice for a candidate dinner. Wish someone had warned me. In the end it was all fine and I had made it through my first Melt experience. I thought.
I brought home my leftovers with all intentions of having it for lunch today. Well, deep into watching the Voice finale (DVR’d version), I felt that sandwich calling me from the fridge. So, I answered with a resounding, “Absolutely!” I enjoyed that last half (actually used the jelly this time), more than the first. This time no utensils were needed. If I wanted to have jelly dripping down my elbows that was my own business in my own home. Yes, I’m exaggerating…a bit. Now, I had completed my first Melt experience. I thought.
Cut to 4am this morning. I was called again. This time from the bathroom. I answered the call at about 4:10am. Then again at about 4:20am, and again at 4:45am. By 5am I was fumbling around the medicine cabinet for Imodium and promising myself I would never go to Melt again…ever. I was also realizing that I had to be in the shower in an hour and dressed looking like a human being ready to leave and meet my candidate for breakfast (ralph) by like 6:45am. “This friggin’ sucks” was all I could really think. Everytime I crawled back into bed I was just hoping for just 10 extra minutes of sleep before being summoned back to the bathroom my by angry digestive system. After just under the legal dose in 24 hours of Imodium I felt like I could successfully manage a 45 minute car ride. I rehearsed what the BRAT diet consisted of all the way to breakfast. Thankfully I made it through the day just fine and no one was the wiser (well, okay, a couple people were wiser – or actually wise-asses!).
Now, I’m not totally sure it is just Melt’s fault. Due to having three candidates on campus in like 5 days, the week has simply been an eating out palooza of sorts. Since Sunday night I have eaten 7 out of 15 meals out at restaurants. This from the woman who hardly ever goes out and prefers to eat at home. No wonder my body was complaining. It had just reached its tipping point early this morning. The Melt sandwich was the proverbial straw. And this concludes my Melt experience. Probably for good!
Epilogue – and what did we eat for dinner tonight since I had eaten out all week, but didn’t feel like cooking? We went out to Panera….seriously. Make that 8 out of 15!!!