Yes, you read that right. I’m suggesting that everyone get a puppy-dog just like our adorable, lovable, gigantic, horse-like, Henery Higgins.
Now, I know that I’ve done my fair share of complaining about the mutt. However, after hearing about his latest “trick” tonight I decided to go another way and “reframe” the puppy’s antics in a positive way instead. Doesn’t that sound well-adjusted of me?!
So, these are the top 10 reasons why, I submit to you, that you need yourself a Henery Higgins:
1. To chew up your favorite sandles: and teach you that stuff is really just stuff anyways.
2. To chase and eventually kill ants and stinkbugs: and help rid your house of pests and teach you how stinkbugs have earned their name! Yuck.
3. To perfect the on-the-bed and under-the-bed maneuver in one graceful move: and encourage you to finally clean underneath your bed!
4. To bug you incessantly with a ball when you just want to chill out: and remind you to spend a little quality time with your favorite 4-legged family member.
5. To growl and bark at inanimate objects like utility poles: and remind you that you have a loyal friend, indeed who will protect against all evil…poles, snowmen, yard ornaments, or any other threat to your well-being.
6. To be the first one to greet you at the door like you are the greatest thing since kibble no matter what your mood: and remind you about your horse’s unconditional love.
7. To chew up the end of your living room curtains: and teach you…and teach you…nope, I got nothing…this one still pisses me off!
8. To constantly steal mittens and scarves from the bedroom: and teach you that you probably should have winter things put away during the summer months.
9. To steal and eat a peach from the counter, pit and all: and remind you that, “oh, yeah – we have peaches! Maybe I should eat one!”
10. And last but not least today’s latest feat: To eat an entire container of fish food: and remind you that, “oh, yeah – we have a fish tank! Maybe I should feed them!”
I hope these reasons were convincing enough for you to get your own canine. If not, we would also gladly entertain the idea of providing you an opportunity to borrow Henery in order to give you your own experiential convincing. How is tomorrow for you? The next day? Call me. Please.