>The Curse of the White Pants

>So,I have come to an earth shattering conclusion about white pants. They make you look fat. It doesn’t matter what style they are – capris, dress pants, white jeans (ew)…they all make you look fatter than you are. This law does not apply to all white clothing that you wear on your bottom half…white skirts and white shorts are fine. For some reason they have escaped the curse of the doomed white pants. And of course anything worn on the top of the body that is white is just fine – your sweaters, jackets, shirts – all good. For some reason, from the moment I put on white pants (okay, so it really is just this one pair) I feel fat and look fatter in the mirror. I’m not sure why this is. I know that the color black is supposed to be slimming and I have to say it has lived up to that reputation on a regular basis in my closet. Perhaps because white is the total opposite of black, it does the total opposite of slimming – fattening. With Labor Day coming up soon and being a strict follower of the “no white after Labor Day fashion rule” (not really), I’ve been trying to get a few more wearings out of the white items in my wardrobe. Hence this discovery. The last time I wore the white pants I did notice their fat tendency, but I soon forgot about it (denial is an ugly thing) and wanted to give them yet another chance yesterday. I mean, we all have bad hair days…maybe I just had a bad pants day. So I was filled with hope and anticipation as I got dressed yesterday and looked in the mirror. Fat. Uggh. I was running kinda late and decided to just go with it and hope for the best on “white pants last chance day.”

Well, that was it – all day the pants bugged me. I actually felt like they were making me fatter as the day went on!! I think the pants are officially history. I’ll have to either give them away or sell them at the consignment shop. Just in time for Labor Day. Miss Manners would be so proud.

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